Sunday, 29 August 2010

So now I'm a social worker?

I was at a party talking to a guy who had nothing to do with the sex industry. (Yes, I do have a separate social life).
I told him what I did for a living and he sort of paused. That's normal.
Then he said, "It's really good what you do because some men need to let out their sexual frustrations. Like old men who have lost their wives, or handicapped people in wheelchairs, or priests. Especially priests. Maybe if they hired women like you, they wouldn't have all that vent up sexual lust and go molesting boys."

Readers -- it takes a lot to shock me. But my mouth was hanging open. Maybe he was just trying to be nice.... but really?
First, it was insulting to me and what I do. I am not just a toy for desperate men. In fact, the majority of guys at strip joints are young, healthy, red-blooded specimens.
Secondly, this guy was even MORE insulting to the elderly and disabled. I mean, there are plenty of older men and men in wheelchair who are PERFECTLY attractive and capable of having wives, girlfriends and normal sex lives. Who is this guy to look down on them?
Isn't it a little too pitying to imply that these people are somehow inferior sexually to everyone else? Come on!

As for the Catholic priests -- boy, I didn't know what to say. Strippers prevent child sex abuse? Priests go to strip joints? What?!!!

The situation with the Catholic child abuse is seriously fucked up. I can't believe Catholic leaders preach against people like me, and then do such horrible things themselves. I feel so bad for the kids, I can't even tell you.

Anyway, I got as FAR away from this dude as I could at this party. He didn't seem drunk. He seemed sober and crazy, which is worse. So I fled. Now I am home. Venting. Phew. That makes me feel better. I hate running into people like that.

Saturday, 28 August 2010

Sugar Daddy of all Sugar Daddies

A humorous post!
Speaking of sugar daddies (see below post) here is the Sugar daddy of all Sugar daddies!

Anna Nicole Smith started as a flat-chested, struggling stripper.
Then she met this elderly patron who paid for her breast implants. With her rockin' new boobs, she rocketed off to become a Guess! girl and to marry the 'ol fella. So, for everyone's amusement, here's a little reminder snapshot of what that looked like.

I hope nobody thinks I'm being mean to Anna Nicole Smith. I used to really like her. She was so beautiful when she was young -- something we forget when we look at later, bloated photos of her.

I'm very sad that she died. I know that many moralists look down on her marriage to the guy. But life is complicated and everyone makes different decisions.

Friday, 27 August 2010

Hello again! Do strippers have sex lives?

Of all the people who might get me back into blogging, the last person I imagined was a self-described "sleazy male, college student, bum asshole."
In fact, I usually avoid "sleazy, male college bum assholes", unless there's some good cash on the table.
But I have to give it to the kid. He asked a good question in the comment section below.
"How does being a sex worker affect your sex life? Would it just be certain, silly males treating you differently? Or is it really rare to find a partner who can take your profession realistically? (I know I couldn't, without effort and time. But therefore keep writing plz. :-) )"
It's a hard question, Mr. College Bum Asshole. Let me try to divide it into categories

1. Desperate Young Boy Caught up in a "Stripper Girlfriend" Fantasy.
Google "stripper tips" and half the sites have nothing to do with how to become a stripper.
Many are from men's mags giving advice on how to DATE a stripper.
The desperate guys who try to follow these columns often have ridiculously high expectations. They think that if they can kiss up to a stripper -- be nice to her, listen to her, make her his "girlfriend," buy her a few drinks -- they will win an "ideal girlfriend."
Their "ideal" is basically just a free stripper. These silly boys think that if you start "dating", the guy will get unlimited lap dances and other perks from a totally hot woman -- for free! They can also brag to their friends that they are dating a sexy stripper.
Of course, this is not going to happen.
1. Experienced strippers can spot these guys from a mile away.
2. It's our job to charge for our services. Nobody is doing anything for free with you.
3. These guys are not looking for a real relationship with a real woman. They're just looking for some sort of fantasy.

When I was much younger, I "dated" a few boys I met at work. Never again.
These guys wanted me to perform all the time, even before and after work. What did they think? That I am a stripper 24-hours a day? No! After my shift, I put on big loose PJs and reading glasses and flop on the couch.

2. The Sugardaddy
In some clubs, getting a sugardaddy quickly turns into prostitution. I have nothing against hookers myself, but I have never gone down that line.
I have never taken money for sex.
But, when I was much younger, rich guys would approach me for seeing me outside of work.
I knew the deal. They would pay for me at nice bars or restaurants and buy me drinks. In return, I would hang off their arm in a skimpy skirt, flirt around their friends, and provide a little sexy entertainment at their parties.
I did sleep with a few of these guys, but it was because I wanted to. Maybe we were all a little tispy at a party together and, you know... But they never tried to pay me cash and I never asked for it. It just wasn't like that.
Would you call this "dating"? Maybe. I walk around and see alot of young, pretty girls with obviously older, uglier, richer looking guys. I don't know if what I was doing was much different than what they are doing.

3. The Industry Boyfriend
If I'm going to date someone, he needs to understand that I am a relatively normal person, too. On my days off, I wear loose jeans, do my laundry, pick up groceries and maybe hit the gym. On the blessed evenings when I am not on work, I even like to cook dinner.
Of course, neither the Desperate Young Boy or the Sugardaddy are interested in this. They are only interested in the stripper part of me, not the Me part of me.
Ironically, guys who have worked in the sex industry are much more understanding of this. They totally get that you are one (fictional) person on stage, and another person off stage. I think they understand it alot more than "normal" guys.
There are a surprising number of men in the industry: Club owners, club managers, bouncers, barmen, cameramen in the porn film or online industry, etc, etc.
Now, beware that you should never sleep with your boss. It just leads to ALLLL sorts of trouble.
I have to say that since I started stripping more than a decade ago, my best and longest relationship was with a bouncer at another strip joint.

4. The Totally Normal Man
Strippers are just normal women. We all seek the same thing: a caring, responsible, loving, loyal partner. Now that I'm turning the big 3-0, I am increasingly looking for a totally average dude -- good, steady salary, house in the 'burbs with a golden retriever...
The problem is, it's hard to convince a stand-up, decent guy to date a stripper.
Because -- let's be painfully honest here -- Good Citizens look down on us as being sleazy.
How many accountants want to bring their wife or girlfriend to a company dinner and introduce her as a stripper?
How many young professionals want to bring a stripper home to mom?
How many men can prevent the (totally natural) instinct to be jealous when his wife or girlfriend is taking off her clothes and rubbing against strange men? You can explain all you want that it is WORK, and that you are actually aren't attracted to any of the guests -- but that won't make your bf feel better.
Again, if he works in the sex industry, he'll be more open-minded. But a mainstream, respectable professional? I dunno.

Well, Mr. Asshole College Guy, that was a long answer. I hope you like it!

P.S. I don't believe in lying to people when I start to date them about what I do. I think it's dishonest and makes it worse. I'm just honest, even if it turns some guys off.

P.P.S. I think this is a MUCH harder issue for prostitutes.

Sunday, 15 August 2010

Goodbye (but only for a little bit)

Coco is exhausted.
Maybe my initial plan of blogging EVERY SINGLE day was a little ambitious. After the first month, I was feeling bogged down, or maybe blogged down.
So, I'm thinking of slowing down to a few posts a week, instead of writing every day. Maybe every other day.

By the way, I am actually working overseas right now -- am have been since I started this thing. The wonders of the laptop and the Internet!
For about two weeks, I might take the opportunity to do a little travelling in the area.
But please don't go away --oh, all four or five readers I have. I will be back!