Gratuitous Sexy Photo #3

This really is a beauty -- the whole thing, the girl, her natural healthy body, the pose that is both sexy and demure, the look in the half-hidden eyes, the black and white photography.

This is stripping at its classiest. This is how you snag that rich sugardaddy at a gentleman's club, instead of doing $10 lap dances for college boys.

Look at her breasts, ladies. They aren't giant. Nor does she look like a natural glamazon. But she's in terrific shape -- looks like diet and exercise to me, not surgery.

Breast surgery: Good, bad and the ugly

Awful Plastic Surgery is always a great online time waster. But I think it's too hard on people.

It ragged on Doris Mar for having fake-looking breasts. And they have a point. Her boobs have all the telltale signs: They are square-ish. The space between them is too wide and too clearly defined. Real breasts are soft, round and have natural curves.
That said, Doris Mar got a Playboy cover. So she must be doing something right.
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This is a total no-no. Sheyla Hershey of Texas got 38KKKs put in. She hauls an extra gallon of fluid around with her every day. All I can say is that it must REALLY hurt her back.
Image from the Times Union.

Do you know whose breast implants I really like? Nicole Kidman's. She went from nothingness to being statuesque and elegant. They aren't exactly stripper big, but I still like them.

The stripper as vampire -- work hours

Every club is different, but there are usually 2 or 3 shifts, like a restaurant.
The first is usually 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. This is for businessmen having lunch, or coming in after work for happy hour. The upside is that it is the safest shift. Plus, you can have normal, human waking hours. The downside is that you make the least money here.
The second shift is, say, 6 p.m. to 2 a.m. There is usually a little overlap with the last shift, since happy hour is popular. This is the one I like best, since I make way more money dealing with drunk guys out on the town for a night than I do with two suits having a sandwich between meetings. But, the hours are still saner than...
... The late shift. This is probably something like 9 p.m. to 5 a.m. or even later. This is the highest-paying shift, but the most dangerous. Anyone who is in a strip joint at 3 or 4 or 5 a.m. is trashed, aggressive and horny. Plus, it really screws with your body clock.

Your Body Clock
By the time you wind down from the late shift and get home, it's dawn. Usually, you can't sleep right away, since you're pumped for your shift -- plus, you really need a shower and some food. So you watch the sun rise like an insomniac. When I did this shift, I usually slept from about 9 a.m. to about 4 or 5 p.m. I took alot of sleeping pills and didn't see much of the sun. Honestly, I found it depressing.
Like I said, I prefer the middle shift. I get off at 2 a.m., get home by 3 a.m. and am asleep by 5 a.m. OK, I still took sleeping pills and it still isn't normal, but at least I'd be up by about noon, giving me a whole afternoon on daytime to run errands, run outside, go for a swim and generally feel human.

P.S. 24-hour strip joints have different shifts.

Image of Salma Hayek playing a stripper vampire in the 90s, before she made it big.

Another gratuitous sexy photo

This image is from a parenting blog, of all places. It ran with a story about a 14-year-old girl who got a fake ID saying she was 21. The article asks if the strip joint managers should be blamed. Well, duh. Yes.

OK, if any of my readers out there are 14, get out of this site, go get Mommy and have her install the Net Nanny. OK, no, you'll never do that.

But, at the very least, don't become a stripper. Please. Dear God. Wait till you're at least 18.

I don't want responsibility for sending children into the sex industry on my hands.

(Photo from Babble.com).

Gratuitous sexy photo

No, honey. That's not me, alas. Just some image I stole off Google. But I am a stripper. I know what draws an audience!

(Note: It's from http://moreimportant.wordpress.com)