1. Make two fists. Now pull your arms back while thrusting your chest out and chanting "I must! I must! I must increase my bust!" No, just kidding. Here's the real list of 10 steps for plastic surgery.
1. Budget and schedule. It's going to set you back $5,000-$10,000 and keep you out of work for two weeks, so be sure.
3. Before the surgery, you may be asked to make some lifestyle changes, like stop smoking.
4. In America, at least, this is an outpatient procedure (meaning you don't stay overnight in a hospital).
5. You will be given either local anesthesia and a sedative (you will be awake, but groggy) or full anesthesia (you will be asleep). I'm a wimp, so I chose option two.
6. The operation takes an hour or two.
7. When you wake up from the anesthesia, you will rest for several hours with your breasts bound in bandages or special support bra.
8. Either your friend takes you home -- and takes care of you -- or you stay in the hospital. You will feel like shit after, so make sure you've arranged a ride and company for that full first night. If not, pay for the extra hospital night. Cabbing it alone isn't good enough. You may be vomiting. Your wound may not have "drained" yet. You can't be alone.
9. You will be sore for several days, and can't do strenuous physical activity.
10. Most people can go back to work for a week, but strippers need longer. Post-surgical recovery is fine if you're wearing a suit and sitting at a desk. If you're naked, and all your bruises, drainage and scars are on show, that's different. Plus, you really don't want to go spinning around the pole when your body is still that sensitive.
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