Sunday 11 July 2010

Pick a stripper name

As intelligent readers might have guessed, my loving mother and father did not name me Coco Undressed.
You have to pick a stripper name -- partly to make yourself marketable, and partly for safety reasons.
You know the line between client and boyfriend. But the drunk idiots you're going to be dealing with aren't that smart. You're going to meet hundreds or thousands of men, many of them total losers. You don't want a stalker on your hands.
So you are not Jane Brown. Choose another name before your first day of work and stick to it.
If you look "ethnic," then go with CoCo, like me, or Ginger, Saffron, Jade, China. The fake Japanese names are nice, too -- like Maki. (Like sushi. Mmmmm. All sorts of dirty come-on lines you can make with that one).
Some people chose "real" names like Trisha or Tiffany. Some clients like the irony of boys' names, like Sam, Chris or Bobbi.
Other stripper regulars are luxury cars (Mercedes) booze (Brandy, Bubbles), colors (Pink, Amber), place names (Paris works, Connecticut does not).
I wouldn't do anything really stupid and campy, like Ivana Humpalot from the Austin Powers movie. That might amuse you at first, but then you'll be stuck with it. And forget high-paying classy clients.

I'm old enough to remember the late 80s. Remember Sam Fox? I remember being a little girl and reading an interview with her, saying that her mom called her Samantha, just so she could be called Sam. And I found that incredibly sexy. And I was, like, 8 or something. I remember that article, and the centerfold photo, more than any school lesson. No wonder I became a stripper.

What are you favorite stripper names?

Image from Retro Junk.

4 comments:

  1. I'm not a stripper, and I don't plan on becoming one, but I randomly stumbled on your blog after having a brazilian and googling "waxing bruises" (no i won't be going back there after that performance, that's the trouble with moving to a new place).
    Anyway, your blog is FABULOUS.
    I think my favourite stripper name is "Tiffany" because I love the jewellery. But if I were a stripper I'd choose something that had to do with my porcelain appearance, like China or Pearl I guess.

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  4. First I love your blog! My stripper name is Bubbles Galore🩵 well cam girl name 🤭 I wish you were still active 🥹

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